My Approach to Therapy

My approach to therapy is based on how my training and professional experience blend into my own understanding of myself, what speaks to me and what I have found to work best with patients. In the section below I aim to communicate with you some important aspects of the way I approach treatment.  

Relational Therapy
Having a trusting and positive connection with your therapist is critical to good results in counseling. Humans thrive in relationships where we are valued, listened to, respected, challenged, met with by another human striving to be genuine and present while in our company.  Creating and utilizing a vibrant relationship for the welfare of patients is at the heart of my approach.

Psychodynamic Therapy
Psyche, the word at the heart of psychology, in the Greek language means: “the soul, mind, and spirit animating a human being.” I like recognizing that psychotherapy is therapy for the soul.  Soul in treatment will mean a depth-orientation. The confidentiality and trustworthiness of the therapy room is an invitation to listen to oneself, to increase self-trust, and to learn. Words and ideas related to depth therapy include: Working Through issues for life-long change; Listening profoundly for your own truths (at times using the method of free association/stream of consciousness can be helpful); the Unconscious; Dream Work; Mythology; Meaning; Purpose; Heart-to-Heart connections. If these words speak to you – and they do not speak to everyone – but if they speak to you, you may well be a person for whom a depth therapy approach will be life changing.

Primary Theoretical Perspectives: Object Relations and Self Psychology
Object Relations and Self Psychology are two theoretical traditions that are centrally woven into the fabric of my work with clients.  An Object Relations approach to therapy zeroes in on the fact that who we are and how we see the world is profoundly impacted by the relationships we have had in life. “Object” relations may seem a rather bland word, but is used intentionally to be inclusive:  of course our relationships with our parents/caregivers shaped us, as well as relationships with siblings, friends, teachers, romantic interests, etc. All our relationships shape us.

Self Psychology then focuses therapy on the nature and quality of how we relate to ourselves. Self Psychology honors the truth that the one relationship we always have in our lives is with ourselves. Therapy from this perspective aims to improve our relationship to our self, and when we improve our ways of connecting with and being supportive of our self, this impacts all our other relationships. 

Additional Contributing Therapeutic Perspectives
Some other approaches that I have found facilitate the depth and the staying power of the therapeutic work include:

Jungian Psychology: Carl Jung thought and wrote about therapy in ways that influence me. Jung took issue with a view that our painful psychological symptoms (depression, anxiety, anger, obsessiveness, etc.) are to be viewed pathologically, or as negative “problems” that call for immediate behavioral and/or chemical “solutions.”  Instead, a Jungian perspective is open to the genius that may be found by exploring our symptoms with compassion and open-heartedness.  I’ll offer one example.  Persons often fear their sadness and say common phrases such as, “I’m afraid if I start crying, I’ll fall apart!” Instead, a Jungian-influenced response could be: “If you cry, if you feel your feelings, you may well fall together.”

Gestalt Psychology: Insights into therapy from a Gestalt tradition also hum in the background in all my work as a therapist.  A Gestalt viewpoint emphasizes that it is critical that the therapist be a real, genuine, congruent person in the therapy room.  Gestalt techniques are also useful for making therapy not just talking about our lives, but bringing therapy alive and active with here-and-now ways to interact. 

Existential Psychology: An Existential approach to therapy holds that therapy is about meaning.  This includes profound questions about one’s purpose, the nature of things, spirituality.  All questions are legitimate in therapy, including other potentially taboo topics such as money and sexuality.  One stereotype I’ll address here that I grew up with and people occasionally wonder about is whether psychology is inimical to religion and faith. I assure you this is not the case in my work.  To the very fullest of my ability all topics will be explored with respect for your perspective, your background, your commitments and beliefs. I like this quote from Rollo May touching on an existential approach to psychotherapy/therapy of the soul: “Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run our best contribution to the world.”

Cognitive/Behavioral Psychology: Cog/Beh is the dominant psychological paradigm in the United States currently.  Cognitive therapy focuses on how we are vulnerable to distorted thoughts and how to change our mis-understandings.  Behavioral therapy focuses on behaviors that we want to change. I learned Cognitive and Behavioral interventions during my training and my therapeutic ear is always open to noticing and offering assistance with cognitive distortions and behavioral difficulties. To give two examples regarding cognitive therapy, I listen for how patients regularly “should on themselves” rather than listen to their wants, and I am attuned to how we often we say “but” rather than “and.” I have qualms about cognitive/behavioral therapy as a dominant orientation to treatment, however. Changes gained via cog/beh therapy are too often merely skin deep, in my view, and lasting, life-changing therapy needs to be deeper. 

A Few Words About Physical Health
Physical and emotional health are intertwined. In therapy, you may wish to focus on developing a self-care routine that includes eating, exercise, sleep and other lifestyle choices related to your physical well-being. Many of us approach these issues from a perspective akin to making resolutions: “I’m going to be more disciplined and change that behavior!” I have found that an important, deepening issue is to work on our relationship to ourselves in terms of the statement: “I am worth taking good care of.”  We are worth eating thoughtfully. We are worth being active in ways that we enjoy. 

As you can see, I draw from a variety of theories and techniques. I am always aware that my work is with particular, unique persons and I tailor my approach with the purpose to maximally assist each individual.